Diana Page Jordan | Book Reviews and Inspiration

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

By Lori Gottlieb

Published February 4, 2010 (Hardcover) Dutton Adult

More Info: Lori Gottlieb

I’ve been thinking a lot about men lately.  Especially since the guy who matched nearly everything on my List showed up, raised the bar completely, then his ex showed up, and he bowed out, to figure out his circumstances.  Especially since an old FWB flew into a late-night rage and cut me off for the fifth or sixth time because I’m too positive.  Especially since another guy showed up in the same half-hour on Facebook, and asked me on a non-date date, but I still don’t know when that is.  So I picked up Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.

The first guy showed up – Blind Date – right after I’d decided that I was “good enough,” finally! So what does it mean that he vanished?  The cosmic questions weird me out.

Gottlieb’s book feels like the best series of stories you’d see in a hot woman’s magazine.

She focuses mostly on young women who are taught they can “have it all,” so they keep saying “no” to the sweet short bald guys or the comfortable guys or the ultra-successful/busy guys who forget their birthdays.  And end up like her – manless, when they really do want companionship.  Hell, I want companionship, but judging by her real-life stories, I am SOL unless I want a seventy-year old, since guys over forty only want much younger women.  Hey guys, it’s just a number! Here’s another number, there are 72 single men for every 100 single women in the 45 to 65-age group.

Slip away from the numbers, and Gottlieb is more encouraging.  Go for the subjective – not the objective, like how tall and their eye color.  She narrowed her needs down to “intellectually curious, kid-friendly, and financially stable.”  These would be the only reasons she would rule someone out for a first date.  Oh, yeah, and chemistry? That might just mean attraction to the life you are familiar with – which could be addicts.  Hello.

Marry Him is delightful, informative fun.  I guess my takeaway is that it’s important to feel comfortable together.

But it’s odd. I felt so comfortable with Blind Date guy, for the first time, I was completely myself.  And, I discovered not only did I like myself when I was with him, but – paraphrasing the line in As Good As It Gets, he made me want to be a better person.   Maybe that was the bar that was higher.  Maybe that was the lesson.