Happiness and Thanksgiving
November 27, 2008
Happiness is a process, not a place. That's one of the key concepts that leaps from HAPPINESS: UNLOCKING THE MYSTERIES OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. I'm intrigued, having just wrapped up one of the quietest Thanksgivings ever. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!
Just one of my sons and me -- and he arrived plenty full from Thanksgiving at his dad's apartment. I am intrigued by my lack of judgment over that -- it was just an enjoyable evening, with two-way conversation that was open and honest. A few texts flew in as we -- or, rather I -- dined, and he urged me to peek. A few guy friends. I restrain myself from responding, choosing, instead, to keep the dialog going with my son. My other son called early in the day, and, as usual, we talked long and on varied topics.
In both cases, conversation centered on appreciating the good people in our lives now, and an agreement to help each other achieve our dreams. With my younger son, on the phone from California, we decide we'll make vision boards together when he comes to visit in a few weeks. "That's much better than lists, ma, cool," he says. I took an art class with him his last year of high school -- what an incredible bonding experience, and pretty damn good art came through both of us. We each had a picture displayed in a gallery as a result. A happy time we will find again when he comes up during the holidays. With my older son today, we talk about honesty and happiness. He says people would rather peel away than be honest that they're not happy, and most people aren't happy. I know some happy people, and I'd say that I am innately happy. My sons are drawn to that happiness, and I would say both are happy. The moments when I am not happy, feel more like wonderment, as in "what's going on here?" And I play it like a puzzle, an adventure, and it becomes rewarding, a happy venture in itself.
The HAPPINESS book says happiness is also beneficial to effective functioning -- studies show that we do a lot better when we are happy.
I didn't realize it until recently, but all the work I've been doing with EMDR -- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing -- is clearing me out. All the crappy thinking, the beliefs built on insane or violent early programming, have fallen away and what is left is clear, sparkling happiness.
And for that, I am very, very Thankful.
Happiness is a process, not a place. That's one of the key concepts that leaps from HAPPINESS: UNLOCKING THE MYSTERIES OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. I'm intrigued, having just wrapped up one of the quietest Thanksgivings ever. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!
Just one of my sons and me -- and he arrived plenty full from Thanksgiving at his dad's apartment. I am intrigued by my lack of judgment over that -- it was just an enjoyable evening, with two-way conversation that was open and honest. A few texts flew in as we -- or, rather I -- dined, and he urged me to peek. A few guy friends. I restrain myself from responding, choosing, instead, to keep the dialog going with my son. My other son called early in the day, and, as usual, we talked long and on varied topics.
In both cases, conversation centered on appreciating the good people in our lives now, and an agreement to help each other achieve our dreams. With my younger son, on the phone from California, we decide we'll make vision boards together when he comes to visit in a few weeks. "That's much better than lists, ma, cool," he says. I took an art class with him his last year of high school -- what an incredible bonding experience, and pretty damn good art came through both of us. We each had a picture displayed in a gallery as a result. A happy time we will find again when he comes up during the holidays. With my older son today, we talk about honesty and happiness. He says people would rather peel away than be honest that they're not happy, and most people aren't happy. I know some happy people, and I'd say that I am innately happy. My sons are drawn to that happiness, and I would say both are happy. The moments when I am not happy, feel more like wonderment, as in "what's going on here?" And I play it like a puzzle, an adventure, and it becomes rewarding, a happy venture in itself.
The HAPPINESS book says happiness is also beneficial to effective functioning -- studies show that we do a lot better when we are happy.
I didn't realize it until recently, but all the work I've been doing with EMDR -- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing -- is clearing me out. All the crappy thinking, the beliefs built on insane or violent early programming, have fallen away and what is left is clear, sparkling happiness.
And for that, I am very, very Thankful.
Labels: book review, Ed Diener, HAPPINESS UNLOCKING THE MYSTERIES OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH, happiness., Robert BiswasDiener, Thanksgiving, transcending the trauma
posted by Diana Page Jordan @ 7:56 PM
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