Marry Smart
December 3, 2008
Are you single and smart? You're a SWAN. Dr. Christine Whelan -- that's Doctor, as in PhD -- decided to defy all those headlines that screamed that intelligent women have a terrible chance at getting married. SWAN stands for Strong Women Achievers No Spouse.
Whelan opens her book MARRY SMART: THE INTELLIGENT WOMAN'S GUIDE TO TRUE LOVE with an invitation to take a quiz at www.marrysmart.com to calculate your marrying chances. But don't go there -- someone swiped the site. Go to www.christinewhelan.com -- and then do the quiz.
Okay, my chances of marrying again -- even at my age, even living in Portland Oregon, even with kids -- is 96-percent. That is comforting. If you read my blog yesterday, you'll know that I have a few lingering questions.
Dr Whelan is comforting with her research, which, as a journalist, I embrace unemotionally. The success penalty -- for women with degrees, and advanced degrees, or financial gain, or some degree of fame -- is vanishing.
Half of the students today in law school and med school are women. This compares to less than one in four in 1977. And a third of today's MBA graduates are women. Now nearly half of all management positions are held by women. Way to go! For some reason the old Virginia Slim's ad pops into mind (and I have never smoked) "You've come a long way, baby."
You probably recall the old Newsweek article that a single, college-educated forty-year old women had a better chance of being killed by terrorists than of getting married. How cheerful. Then there's the old "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." Men. Girls. Interesting.
Personally, I often hear assumptions from guys that I won't have time for them -- not true! How'd I work full-time, married, a couple of free lance jobs on the side and raise two sons? I had time then for a man -- I have time now. And the other one -- a close guy friend volunteered once "You should never date average joes" and "you're a city girl -- you'll never find a guy in Portland." Whelan says a lot more women these days are not marrying up. Toss away the List. Step outside the box. Good hint -- ask a guy about his mom and what she did while he was growing up. If she worked outside the home, likely he will appreciate that in you.
Be honest about your achievements, Whelan reminds us. And, cut the Cinderella complex -- you don't need to be rescued! Look at all you've done!
Oh, and the age thing -- I've dated guys from 28 to 64, favorite age is around 44; bald to shoulder-length, red to black hair; 4'10" to 6'4", favorite is around six feet -- and chemistry is unpredictable!
As another guy friend told me last week -- exude confidence, know that you have something wonderful to give. You do!
Are you single and smart? You're a SWAN. Dr. Christine Whelan -- that's Doctor, as in PhD -- decided to defy all those headlines that screamed that intelligent women have a terrible chance at getting married. SWAN stands for Strong Women Achievers No Spouse.
Whelan opens her book MARRY SMART: THE INTELLIGENT WOMAN'S GUIDE TO TRUE LOVE with an invitation to take a quiz at www.marrysmart.com to calculate your marrying chances. But don't go there -- someone swiped the site. Go to www.christinewhelan.com -- and then do the quiz.
Okay, my chances of marrying again -- even at my age, even living in Portland Oregon, even with kids -- is 96-percent. That is comforting. If you read my blog yesterday, you'll know that I have a few lingering questions.
Dr Whelan is comforting with her research, which, as a journalist, I embrace unemotionally. The success penalty -- for women with degrees, and advanced degrees, or financial gain, or some degree of fame -- is vanishing.
Half of the students today in law school and med school are women. This compares to less than one in four in 1977. And a third of today's MBA graduates are women. Now nearly half of all management positions are held by women. Way to go! For some reason the old Virginia Slim's ad pops into mind (and I have never smoked) "You've come a long way, baby."
You probably recall the old Newsweek article that a single, college-educated forty-year old women had a better chance of being killed by terrorists than of getting married. How cheerful. Then there's the old "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." Men. Girls. Interesting.
Personally, I often hear assumptions from guys that I won't have time for them -- not true! How'd I work full-time, married, a couple of free lance jobs on the side and raise two sons? I had time then for a man -- I have time now. And the other one -- a close guy friend volunteered once "You should never date average joes" and "you're a city girl -- you'll never find a guy in Portland." Whelan says a lot more women these days are not marrying up. Toss away the List. Step outside the box. Good hint -- ask a guy about his mom and what she did while he was growing up. If she worked outside the home, likely he will appreciate that in you.
Be honest about your achievements, Whelan reminds us. And, cut the Cinderella complex -- you don't need to be rescued! Look at all you've done!
Oh, and the age thing -- I've dated guys from 28 to 64, favorite age is around 44; bald to shoulder-length, red to black hair; 4'10" to 6'4", favorite is around six feet -- and chemistry is unpredictable!
As another guy friend told me last week -- exude confidence, know that you have something wonderful to give. You do!
Labels: book review, Dr Christine Whelan, MARRY SMART THE INTELLIGENT WOMANS GUIDE TO TRUE LOVE, marry., transcending the trauma
posted by Diana Page Jordan @ 4:38 PM
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