Diana's Blog: Quirky Words and Book Reviews

November 14, 2008
You've seen self-help gurus stand up and evangelize about how they succeeded in life, and how, if you follow their steps, you can too.
Well, it may not be that easy. In Dr Daniel Amen's latest book MAGNIFICENT MIND AT ANY AGE: NATURAL WAYS TO UNLEASH YOUR BRAIN'S MAXIMUM POTENTIAL, Amen says our brains are sometimes out of balance, and we can't simply get there by just visualizing.
Several years ago, I interviewed Dr Amen and was mesmerized by his brain scans -- some lovely and smooth, others shot through with holes. You can guess which brains belonged to the drug-addled. But sometimes other lifestyle issues contribute. And traumas -- psychological and physical -- make their mark as well.
Amen talks about EMDR -- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing -- a treatment to extricate traumas from your brain. I've been using EMDR for more than a year to resolve the emotional distress from being raped from age four-and-a-half, and growing up in a violent, alcoholic home. It is magical! Painful process, but magical. EMDR is being used for combat trauma, even car accidents. I know I still have the physical memory and trauma from the impact and sound of broken metal and glass from when a small pickup I was in was hit by a logging truck, and I went through the windshield. 66 stitches in my forehead, two black eyes, broken nose, but the most amazing Near Death Experience. I'm not messing with that experience. I am grateful for the NDE.
Gratitude is another blessing for your brain. Dr Amen tested psychologist Noelle Nelson while she was writing her book THE POWER OF APPRECIATION -- I interviewed her about her book, and since then, I pack my mental day full of "thank you thank you thank you!" Amen scanned Nelson's brain twice -- once when she deliberately crammed her brain with thank you's and an appreciation meditation, and second, when she experienced a string of frightening thoughts, meditating on fear. Amen says her frightened brain looked very different from her grateful brain. Amen found that negative thinking shut down the part of the brain dealing with coordination -- no wonder, he says, athletes mess up when they're thinking negatively. When Nelson was grateful, her brain looked very healthy, quite different from her frightened brain.
Here's a snapshot view of making yourself a magnificent mind -- Dr Amen says to exercise, eat nutritious food, skipping the caffeine and nicotine, sleep well, exercise and take fish oil...and you'll be that much closer to making your dreams come true!
Sweet dreams!

Labels: book review, Dr Daniel Amen, EMDR, MAGNIFICENT MIND AT ANY AGE, Noelle Nelson, THE POWER OF APPRECIATION, transcending the trauma

October 14, 2008
It's been awhile since I've seen Augusten Burroughs. The last time I saw him was during his book tour for POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS -- which is an extremely funny inside-joke title for anyone who has been sexually abused and tormented. Maybe there are side effects? You spend your life undoing them...or writing about them...or both.
MAGICAL THINKING -- Augusten's previous book -- is my favorite. His New York stories, his trail of empty booze bottles completely covering the floor of his apartment which he doesn't notice until he returns from rehab, his hilarious advertising agency stories. Step on a crack and you'll break your mother's back. Magical thinking -- he tried not to step on cracks. Me, too. But every June while I was in the middle of elementary school, my mother would fall down the nine wooden front stairs into the foyer, and end up in the hospital. I didn't step on any cracks.
Augusten reminds me of my younger brother -- maybe it's their seriousness -- or their devotion to what they love best -- but it's there. I never noticed the resemblance, until this past weekend, when my brother just dropped in. First time we've been around each other for longer than a few minutes in fifteen years -- and even then, it's been five years since we've seen each other at all. Yeah, he just decided to drop into Portland...from Florida. Kinda forgot to mention in that morning's email when he asked if I'd read any of Barack Obama's books that he'd be getting on a plane in a few hours. For Portland.
Augusten is brilliant. And he has a razor-sharp memory for every detail. My brother does, too. It's a photographic memory. Snap. There's a shot of our stepfather beating up our dad and telling him to never come back again. I remember that one, too. Snap. I am six and he is four and there are two rings on a table in our rec room, created when I decided to wet a 45-record and set it down, and he copied, following my design. He caught hell. I stayed quiet, and escaped. Snap. A babysitter yanks on his child pud until it hurts -- a story I don't know until now. Snap. I don't tell him about an earlier babysitter, Mrs Teddy, who never came back again after she caught me sucking on a frozen hot dog and I told her I was practicing. I was five. Snap. Pieces are beginning to fit. Snap. He is healing through Yoga. I am healing through dance and EMDR. He always looked up to me -- and that frightened me because I couldn't save him from his hell -- so I shut myself away, reading books, talking to angels, going out of my body. He had his vinyl and his drumset. Snap. Wipeout. Snap.
My brother and I talk solid for nearly six hours Saturday, and he returns for more on Monday, just before his flight. My older son asks if he looks like his uncle. There is a resemblance. There is a possible side effect of this newly-uncovered, unconditional love. There is the beginning of a family.

Labels: Augusten Burroughs, book review, dance, EMDR, MAGICAL THINKING, POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS, step on a crack, transcending the trauma

September 5, 2008
Which "me" is going to win? The kid that was raped and abused by the adults who were supposed to care for me for fifteen years? Or the soul who appreciates the great challenge that situation presents and celebrates every success?
Today I decide to put myself in the path of deliberately-chosen positive experiences, while tuning into any moments of fear, despair, anger -- assuaging the young girl inside who stubbornly grabs the steering wheel. Most of us grew up with at least some trauma. We then make instant decisions about Life, People, Ourselves. Decisions made with that emotional resonance tend to remain, and block us later in life. I am determined to knock down whatever unsuitable beliefs remain. Some people barrage themselves with the same affirmation over and over until it becomes a belief. That doesn't work for me when I see a cowering kid inside, deathly afraid. So I do EMDR for her, and for me, I do things like I did today.
Dance always works. So I dance Zumba this morning, fabulously freeing. And instead of wondering how any of my dancing friends feel about me, I open my heart to them, and we talk, lively conversations, about dance, politics, families. I have to run a few errands next, including getting baby shower gifts, so I put my heart into that. I return to the gym, and lay out in the sun, reading THE TOP 10 DISTINCTIONS BETWEEN MILLIONAIRES AND THE MIDDLE CLASS by Keith Cameron Smith. Quick, powerful reading. I know I'm on the right track when I read in his preface "I believe we all have a song that we are destined to sing and this book is part of my song." I want to say, "Me too!" I know I am transcending the trauma -- and have had a rich life of experiences, interviewing amazing authors -- so I can share what I know...to support others as they get the absolute best out of the Law of Attraction. The biggie for Keith is that millionaires think long term, while middle class people think short term. Set long-term goals, he says. He wants you to read, and re-read his book, which I will. Nine key questions to ask yourself: "What kind of person do I want to be? Why do I want to be that kind of person? How can I become that kind of person? What do I want to do? Why do I want to do it? How can I do it? What do I want to have? Why do I want to have it? How can I create it?"
After reading the book, it is time to meet a friend of mine who is a Life Coach -- and head to the 2008 Street of Dreams. I hear her saying "I want that shower in my new condo. I want that tile...." And I realize that she's right -- it's not just the looking at beautiful homes, it's seeing them as ours.
And then I see it -- magnificent hardwood floors in a mirrored studio boasting not only Bowflex equipment, but a ballet barre. My dream house has that exact studio -- with the addition of my recording studio in it as well. I take a picture with my phone.
I think the little girl is really going to love the ballet barre.

Labels: ballet barre, book review, Bowflex, EMDR, Keith Cameron Smith, studio, THE TOP 10 DISTINCTIONS BETWTEEN MILLIONAIRES AND THE MIDDLE CLASS, Zumba

August 5, 2008
Usually I read on the treadmill. Today, I read in the sun in my backyard. The temperature in Portland Oregon was in the mid-90's at 5pm. I love how the temperature keeps rising, sometimes into the evening. I had until 5:45pm to read Marc Allen's new book THE GREATEST SECRET OF ALL, because I wanted to head out for a dance class then. Personal, powerful, bright easy writing.
Marc tells of being a complete screw-up until the day he turned thirty, and opened his business, New World Library with Shakti Gawain. She has this open, easy, wise way about her. I interviewed her a dozen years ago in a quirky Portland hotel.
What struck me as I read -- yes, making your dreams come true is possible. How do you do that, when you have to plow through trauma? For the past year I have been excavating the patterns that developed from beliefs about myself -- that began as thoughts when I was a small child -- through a magical process called EMDR -- eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. I pushed myself back through the rapes, and instead of floating away or imagining that was normal or deciding something untrue,like 'that was what I deserved'...my body released the pain, I screamed and cried, and the beliefs changed. At the same time, I was lucky enough to win a spot in a positive program called HeartSpark, by Susan Clark. We told our stories when we first met, and through an amazing and heartfelt process learned our own personal patterns that work for us. Mine is magic. In a word. This is my full pattern: "I am a confident impresario of spiritual connections, living a limitless magic life with openhearted faith and intuition, inspiring others through my stories, support, patience and dreams."
Marc's book is the third big piece. You have to have a dream. A plan. This multi-millionaire who takes Mondays off and doesn't do email at home, who started penniless at age thirty, created it all on that thirtieth birthday. He wrote an ideal scene of what he would want his life to be in five years -- and then he wrote pages of goals and affirmations from that vision. And to free up that fearful part of the brain, Marc always used these words with each goal: "in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way." There was a one-page plan for every goal, and the final way to manifest your dreams, Marc says, is to simply take action.
I'll go back through the book again, this time doing each step he suggests. I've got my vision board in the living room, too, because the mind creates reality from images, it attracts what you say you want, recognizes it, energizes it. It's fun to focus on the magic. For example, the time I finished reading THE GREATEST SECRET OF ALL...? 5:44pm. Perfect timing. Magical! And I was early enough for my class to find my favorite spot in the front row, and danced my heart out.

Labels: books, dance, EMDR, Heartspark, Marc Allen, New World Library, Shakti Gawain, Susan Clark