Ghosts
September 6, 2008
"Which book is right for today?" I ask, as I walk around my stacks of books, opening to whatever sense is pulled. I do that, sometimes. It's fun, harmless, and sometimes -- like today -- downright astounding.
James VanPraagh's new book GHOSTS AMONG US, is two-thirds of the way down the stack in the middle. I choose it, and slip it into my workout bag.
First I am off to a baby shower, where, instead of guessing how many cotton balls are in a jar and how big the mother-to-be's waist is, we have ritual. In a beautiful ceremony, we are each called on to give a personal reflection. Only half the women have given birth, and we are forewarned, no birth horror stories. It is my turn, and I truthfully say that I loved every stage of it -- including labor and delivery -- and since I had plenty of time, with 42 hours labor the first son, and 28 the second son, one technique I found mystical and amazing was as simple as playing music. A lot of music. I tell the women that there was one tape that I played over and over during the late stages of pregnancy, and particularly during labor -- the music was rolling piano chords, played by a man at Portland's Saturday Market -- and I loved the heavenly tones he created. A few years later, when I was driving home from church in the middle of the afternoon, I found the tape, and slipped it into the deck to listen. My three-year old son said from his car seat, "Dark, momma, dark!" Bringing goosebumps to everyone.
I drive to the gym along that very same road, so many years later, this afternoon, and my phone rings. It is my ex-husband, telling me that the matriarch of his family has just died. I tell him I loved her and I am sorry, and I present the irony that I had just been telling of our sons' births a half-hour earlier, and we hang up. Aunt Lenore was in her nineties, and -- in his words -- had not lived fully in the last several years. He and I have been divorced five years, and immediately I talk to Aunt Lenore. As my words begin to pour out -- about being sorry I hadn't contacted her -- I feel my heart fill with warmth and I hear Aunt Lenore say in her kindly southern way, "Dear, I understand. You did the right thing, divorcing him, and I love you both." And then she answers another concern, I've begun to express, "I will be able to help him and your two sons much better from over here." Thank you, Aunt Lenore!
And then I get to the gym with my book. The choice makes perfect sense now. There's a very peaceful chapter about relatives passing, and VanPraagh says "Because our consciousness doesn't die at death, we carry our mind-set of thoughts and beliefs with us to the other side." Which explains why Aunt Lenore is still so sweet and kind.
GHOSTS AMONG US is full of interesting stories of the medium, ghostbusting, VanPraagh's explanation of ghosts from different vibrational planes, and his reassurance that "Love is the most powerful, natural force in the Universe." He writes that many people ask him "Do spirits know I am thinking of them?" The answer, James says, "is always 'Yes!' More importantly, the spirits feel the love that we have for them." More goosebumps.
Years ago, I interviewed James VanPraagh in person about his book TALKING TO HEAVEN. After the interview, with the tape still rolling, James shifts into his medium persona, telling me he sees my dad with me, and that my father is proud of me. Then James says my dad "died of a broken heart" after he was blocked from seeing me ever again. He says my dad is sad about what happened to me in my own home, and that he couldn't protect me from that abuse.
James asks if my mother now lives near a lake.
"Yes!" I answer.
"Her mother has passed," James states.
"Yes,"I say.
"Your grandmother is working to get through to your mother," he says. She wants your mother to be loving to you. What happened wasn't your fault."
James looks at me, "It was horrible, wasn't it."
"Yes," I say.
"Your grandmother is trying -- it is discouraging, but she is trying."
It hasn't worked just yet.
But many times, I will walk through a room in my own home and catch a strong scent of gardenias.
Gardenias.
Comforting.
My grandmother's perfume.
"Which book is right for today?" I ask, as I walk around my stacks of books, opening to whatever sense is pulled. I do that, sometimes. It's fun, harmless, and sometimes -- like today -- downright astounding.
James VanPraagh's new book GHOSTS AMONG US, is two-thirds of the way down the stack in the middle. I choose it, and slip it into my workout bag.
First I am off to a baby shower, where, instead of guessing how many cotton balls are in a jar and how big the mother-to-be's waist is, we have ritual. In a beautiful ceremony, we are each called on to give a personal reflection. Only half the women have given birth, and we are forewarned, no birth horror stories. It is my turn, and I truthfully say that I loved every stage of it -- including labor and delivery -- and since I had plenty of time, with 42 hours labor the first son, and 28 the second son, one technique I found mystical and amazing was as simple as playing music. A lot of music. I tell the women that there was one tape that I played over and over during the late stages of pregnancy, and particularly during labor -- the music was rolling piano chords, played by a man at Portland's Saturday Market -- and I loved the heavenly tones he created. A few years later, when I was driving home from church in the middle of the afternoon, I found the tape, and slipped it into the deck to listen. My three-year old son said from his car seat, "Dark, momma, dark!" Bringing goosebumps to everyone.
I drive to the gym along that very same road, so many years later, this afternoon, and my phone rings. It is my ex-husband, telling me that the matriarch of his family has just died. I tell him I loved her and I am sorry, and I present the irony that I had just been telling of our sons' births a half-hour earlier, and we hang up. Aunt Lenore was in her nineties, and -- in his words -- had not lived fully in the last several years. He and I have been divorced five years, and immediately I talk to Aunt Lenore. As my words begin to pour out -- about being sorry I hadn't contacted her -- I feel my heart fill with warmth and I hear Aunt Lenore say in her kindly southern way, "Dear, I understand. You did the right thing, divorcing him, and I love you both." And then she answers another concern, I've begun to express, "I will be able to help him and your two sons much better from over here." Thank you, Aunt Lenore!
And then I get to the gym with my book. The choice makes perfect sense now. There's a very peaceful chapter about relatives passing, and VanPraagh says "Because our consciousness doesn't die at death, we carry our mind-set of thoughts and beliefs with us to the other side." Which explains why Aunt Lenore is still so sweet and kind.
GHOSTS AMONG US is full of interesting stories of the medium, ghostbusting, VanPraagh's explanation of ghosts from different vibrational planes, and his reassurance that "Love is the most powerful, natural force in the Universe." He writes that many people ask him "Do spirits know I am thinking of them?" The answer, James says, "is always 'Yes!' More importantly, the spirits feel the love that we have for them." More goosebumps.
Years ago, I interviewed James VanPraagh in person about his book TALKING TO HEAVEN. After the interview, with the tape still rolling, James shifts into his medium persona, telling me he sees my dad with me, and that my father is proud of me. Then James says my dad "died of a broken heart" after he was blocked from seeing me ever again. He says my dad is sad about what happened to me in my own home, and that he couldn't protect me from that abuse.
James asks if my mother now lives near a lake.
"Yes!" I answer.
"Her mother has passed," James states.
"Yes,"I say.
"Your grandmother is working to get through to your mother," he says. She wants your mother to be loving to you. What happened wasn't your fault."
James looks at me, "It was horrible, wasn't it."
"Yes," I say.
"Your grandmother is trying -- it is discouraging, but she is trying."
It hasn't worked just yet.
But many times, I will walk through a room in my own home and catch a strong scent of gardenias.
Gardenias.
Comforting.
My grandmother's perfume.
Labels: birth, Ghosts, GHOSTS AMONG US, grandmother, James Van Praagh, medium, mothers, TALKING TO HEAVEN, transcending the trauma
posted by Diana Page Jordan @ 10:07 PM
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