Diana's Blog: Quirky Words and Book Reviews

November 8, 2008
The slim volume can slip into the smallest of purses or a jacket pocket. Take it with you. The wisdom in AND NEVER STOP DANCING slips in and keeps challenging, poking at my thoughts. The subtitle is THIRTY MORE TRUE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW. My plan was to read a few of those things, but I couldn't stop. Much like Robert Fulghum's writing -- ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN -- Gordon Livingston's observations slip in, simple and eloquent.
Livingston is a psychiatrist who takes us back to 'Nam, on a six-month sailboat journey with several other men over sixty, into marriage, into what plagues his patients, and he dances from subject to subject, never stepping on toes.
One of the topics Marriage ruins a lot of good relationships reminds the reader that it is painful and senseless to live like accountants -- "you never do this," "yeah, well you always do that." More valuable, Livingston counsels, is to use your intuition and choose your partner carefully, so that love and collaboration lead the way, not fear and annoyance.
In another vignette, he speaks of what lies beneath the anger that is often expressed -- it may well be sadness. Why not express that vulnerability instead?
And forgiveness, do we truly understand that -- especially, Livingston writes, with child abuse, murder and other evils in existence? I have often been asked that -- have I forgiven my mother and stepfather for their gifts to the child-me of rape, neglect, abandonment, her suicide attempts, drinking and mental illness, his violence and torture?
Maybe I've never allowed myself to experience the anger that some say I "should" have. Maybe I really did understand at a very young age that they were doing the best they could. Maybe my ability to see angels and to see a scrim of past lives over their present day faces gave me information that allowed compassion.
You may wonder why I use the word "gift." So many times I wish that what had happened, hadn't, because that pain taught me untrue beliefs that today I find limiting, and I must face each one down, rewriting the mental code. And that thought -- of wishing it hadn't happened -- is immediately followed by the knowing that I have experienced an incredibly full range of emotion, passion, and compassion in this lifetime. That perhaps my transcendence of this trauma is or will be an inspiration to another young woman or man that capitulation to this tragedy is unnecessary, that you can make it out alive and be richer for it!
Forgiveness? It was written in the stars, the story I was to live. I appreciate this gift. And, when I have a hard minute or two because I sink into the ego part of me that feels abandoned again or abused, it is nearly always followed by a bright light, a soul reminder that we are not tethered to what happened, even as our bodies can express this trauma from decades past as if it is this moment. An angel appears, and I am healed again. Or I write. Or dance. I dance a lot -- yesterday morning I danced Zumba (salsa, meringue, flamenco), in the evening I danced the complex choreography of lyrical hip-hop, at noon today, I danced Groove, and when the teacher called for one chane turn, I let my body do three.
The title of this book is AND NEVER STOP DANCING...it comes from a true story. In Tel Aviv, several years ago, a bomb killed two dozen young people in a disco. They refused to be cowed by the terrorist act. A memorial appeared with a sign listing the names of those killed and the inscription: Lo nafseek lirkod. It means We won't stop dancing.

Labels: AND NEVER STOP DANCING THIRTY MORE TRUE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW, book review., dancing, Gordon Livingston, Groove, hip-hop, MD, Robert Fulghum., Tel Aviv, terrorism, transcending the trauma, Zumba

September 15, 2008
It was a complete disaster on Wall Street today. Dis-aster -- from the Latin meaning against the stars, or the plan. Thousands lost jobs or money or both, as Lehman declared chapter eleven, and Merrill Lynch was gobbled up by Bank of America for metaphorical pennies, and AIG was flailing. The Dow plummeted 504 points by the end of the day, the worst one-day fall since 9/11. There was no Uncle Sam to rescue, dressed as a knight in shining armor. Not this time.
Wall Street is licking its wounds. It was in freefall this morning when I talked with Chioma Isiadino from her home in New York. We were about to discuss her book, THE BEST BUSINESS SCHOOLS' ADMISSION SECRETS. In our interview, she said candidates will have to decide what to do if they are applying to get into an MBA program and get their pink slip. Or, if they suspect they soon will, should they jump ship? One thing is for certain, the sheer volume of applicants will no doubt increase dramatically. But Chioma and Scott Shrum, the author of YOUR MBA GAME PLAN, whose book I read tonight, agree that if you are laid off, you cannot give the board the sense that you are applying to their school because you have nothing better to do! Briefly explain what happened, then illustrate how business school fits your life plan.
Chioma emphasizes your ability to articulate your brand, which is the heart of her book. Scott's book has a handful of chess pieces on the cover, and that is a great metaphor for his content. It is greatly appreciated that Scott opens with the reminder that no one is perfect, and applicants must strategically round out their dimensions -- community service (it is a must!), GMAT score, hobbies, international exposure, professional experience and transcripts. He mentions eleven different profiles from consulting and creative to marketing and military. I was delighted to see his comment under "creative" that if you want an MBA, that makes you qualified to apply. And then of course you get to be extremely creative in your essays tying your wild adventures to B school.
It all ties back to your life plan. What was writ in the stars? Certainly few people on Wall Street wished for disaster today. I have come to believe that the mysterious forces -- that shake you from a comfortable seat -- are the most precious.
I work in all media, but radio has been my primary industry for a couple of decades. I'd never been laid off -- until a couple of years ago, from a CBS station -- and that sent me scurrying to the corners of my mind. What are my skills? What do I love? With whom can I connect? It opened my eyes in a new way. At an on-camera audition I found on craigslist, I met Mercedes Rose, a local voice talent who introduced me to voiceover classes that began to push me out of the "news" box. I began dancing all out -- hip-hip, groove, Zumba. I was already interviewing authors, and began media-training them. One author introduced me to her agent who has mostly high-tech clients, and suddenly I'm doing podcasts for them. And I spotted an ad from an LA-based Dinner Grrl looking for radio interviewers for her show MBA Podcasters. Ah! And now I'm seriously thinking of going for my MBA. And I wrote the memoir I promised myself at age seven that I would write someday.
That so-called disaster actually put me back on course.
And when I was on my way to Penn State to do a podcast last month, and had a flight delay in Philly, I bought this tiny dancing Swarovski star on a silver chain as a reminder -- to keep dancing on my own path.

Labels: Chioma Isiadinso, dancing, Dinner Grrls, disaster, Dow, Mercedes Rose, online MBA program, Scott Shrum, star., THE BEST BUSINESS SCHOOLS' ADMISSIONS SECRETS, voiceovers, YOUR MBA GAME PLAN, Zumba

September 5, 2008
Which "me" is going to win? The kid that was raped and abused by the adults who were supposed to care for me for fifteen years? Or the soul who appreciates the great challenge that situation presents and celebrates every success?
Today I decide to put myself in the path of deliberately-chosen positive experiences, while tuning into any moments of fear, despair, anger -- assuaging the young girl inside who stubbornly grabs the steering wheel. Most of us grew up with at least some trauma. We then make instant decisions about Life, People, Ourselves. Decisions made with that emotional resonance tend to remain, and block us later in life. I am determined to knock down whatever unsuitable beliefs remain. Some people barrage themselves with the same affirmation over and over until it becomes a belief. That doesn't work for me when I see a cowering kid inside, deathly afraid. So I do EMDR for her, and for me, I do things like I did today.
Dance always works. So I dance Zumba this morning, fabulously freeing. And instead of wondering how any of my dancing friends feel about me, I open my heart to them, and we talk, lively conversations, about dance, politics, families. I have to run a few errands next, including getting baby shower gifts, so I put my heart into that. I return to the gym, and lay out in the sun, reading THE TOP 10 DISTINCTIONS BETWEEN MILLIONAIRES AND THE MIDDLE CLASS by Keith Cameron Smith. Quick, powerful reading. I know I'm on the right track when I read in his preface "I believe we all have a song that we are destined to sing and this book is part of my song." I want to say, "Me too!" I know I am transcending the trauma -- and have had a rich life of experiences, interviewing amazing authors -- so I can share what I know...to support others as they get the absolute best out of the Law of Attraction. The biggie for Keith is that millionaires think long term, while middle class people think short term. Set long-term goals, he says. He wants you to read, and re-read his book, which I will. Nine key questions to ask yourself: "What kind of person do I want to be? Why do I want to be that kind of person? How can I become that kind of person? What do I want to do? Why do I want to do it? How can I do it? What do I want to have? Why do I want to have it? How can I create it?"
After reading the book, it is time to meet a friend of mine who is a Life Coach -- and head to the 2008 Street of Dreams. I hear her saying "I want that shower in my new condo. I want that tile...." And I realize that she's right -- it's not just the looking at beautiful homes, it's seeing them as ours.
And then I see it -- magnificent hardwood floors in a mirrored studio boasting not only Bowflex equipment, but a ballet barre. My dream house has that exact studio -- with the addition of my recording studio in it as well. I take a picture with my phone.
I think the little girl is really going to love the ballet barre.

Labels: ballet barre, book review, Bowflex, EMDR, Keith Cameron Smith, studio, THE TOP 10 DISTINCTIONS BETWTEEN MILLIONAIRES AND THE MIDDLE CLASS, Zumba