Archive for Personal

Reliving Rape Because of A Brutal News Week

Brutal news week.

I used to draw down a wall between my life and the news.  As I anchored the news, reading about others’ pain, I didn’t feel my own.  I was inured from the intrusions of decades of sexual abuse.  I could focus on WhoWhatWhenWhereWhyHow and script the stories, read my own words, tell the story.  That’s over.  It’s actually been over for a few years until I could finally break down that inviolate partition.  I was healed.  I thought.

But this was a brutal news week. Read the rest of this entry »

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Taking Time To Live

A gorgeous finish to a beautiful day at the Oregon CoastFunny thing about taking time to live.  More stuff gets done.  It’s like pulling your feet off the brakes, and putting them on your handlebars, like you did when you were a kid. And just rolling with it.

And, that process allows for magic.  Hey, I’m a journalist, and I observe magic all the time.

I’m at the Oregon Coast.  I can’t tell you the last time I broke away from my long list of to-do’s, and my sense of lacking money.  Probably three weeks ago, I printed up my 375-page manuscript, pulled out a brand-new red pen to edit the crap out of it, and there it sat.  Chelsea Cain, in Workshop, commented that I should just go somewhere where I’d never been, and bring the thing – not try to edit it at home, amid the dings, pings, and stacks of post-it notes with ideas, details, and things-I-must-do-now.

So, I put it out there.  Much like a dandelion wish, where you blow, and it’s carried away.

I also, many months ago, wished for an all-expense paid trip to a sunny place, knowing that that would probably have to be a plane trip somewhere.

Well, guess what.  4am Friday morning, I’m on a list of people who gets an email from a friend who happens to have trade at a wonderful hotel on the Oregon coast.  Lodging free, and more than enough script to cover my non-alcoholic, sweet-loving ways.  She can’t use it.  Use it or lose it, she wrote – who wants it?  I put in.  I got it.

I brought a small bag of clothes; my manuscript; and I remembered when I arrived, after a beautiful sunny drive, that if somehow I needed a bathing suit, I always carry one in my purse.  Hey, you never know!

I stayed in flow.  Didn’t fight the river.  Didn’t set any alarm.  Smiled a lot.  Laughed even more.  Said thank you thank you thank you all day long.  Because today was bikini weather!  Very warm and sunny, and I sat out on the deck overlooking the ocean, editing my manuscript all day long.  Except for a couple of long walks at the ocean’s edge, in bare feet.  Heaven.  I finished the edits.  My skin is sun-kissed.  And, those post-it notes didn’t nag me one bit.  Relaxing into one of the few sunny days I’ve ever experienced at the coast, it occurred to me that when you put those desires out there, and you don’t worry them, you just let them float aloft like a helium balloon, they get answered so creatively, you could never have imagined it this way.

Stunningly delightful.  I love living.  And, no, I’m not posting the picture of me in my bikini, editing out on the deck.  I ate oysters, burgers, scallops, french fries, creme brulee – too much!

 

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14 Rules for the Little Kid Inside You

For years, I hid it, never spoke about it.  Until finally, it pushed up out of me like a beach ball you press down in the water – it pops out.  Has to.

And, one day, the gift of that childhood trauma becomes apparent.

First, the damage and danger twists synapses, neural pathways, belief systems, trust, whom you love and who you run from.  What does a four-and-a-half year old girl learn from being raped by her mother’s new husband?  Handsome guy, her mother head over heels in love with him, her cutting the little girl’s real father out of every photo, changing the girl’s name, and silencing her when she tries to speak it.  Mother, an alcoholic, suicidal, schizophrenic.  Real father, gone, after the little girl reaches age six, because the stepfather beat him up and told him to never come back.  She never saw her dad again.

Little girl escapes Read the rest of this entry »

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Random Thoughts About Speaking

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged.  And, this is, in part, an apology for not having checked in.  I’ve been making my own art, and making a living.  I’ve been interviewing and reading – just haven’t written here.

I decided to take tonight “off,” and not produce the 30-minute podcastor, not prep for my next appearance on KOIN-TV’s Studio 6, not rework the last two chapters of my memoir.  Instead, my housemate, who is leading me into learning how to “play,” watched with me the Academy Award winning movie, The King’s Speech.

The film struck me deep.  Read the rest of this entry »

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From a Mom to Her Challenged Son on His Birthday

This is like nothing else I’ve ever written here.

Mental illness, and the challenging journey is on my mind, especially since talking to Linda Gray Sexton about her poet mom, Anne Sexton, on my show, Open Book with Diana Page Jordan. And especially since today is my older son’s 27th birthday.

For nine years – since just before his 18th birthday – my son has been battling Read the rest of this entry »

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Magical Self-Healing – Part Two

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Inna Segal’s show aired today on Open Book with Diana Page Jordan.  You can listen to the half-hour show, here, and I also promised in my blog yesterday to give you a few more of the highlights.

Inna’s book is The Secret Language of Your Body.  It is assembled much like a dream dictionary.  Look up your ailing organ, or use color as preventative medicine.  Look up your emotions or your body systems.  It’s cool.  The book’s biggest take-away is that your body is talking to you.  Using Inna’s book, you can interpret its changes, and act accordingly.  The other take-away is that Inna’s life has gotten phenomenally better.  Doors fly open.  She says these words to Universal Intelligence or Divine Intelligence, “How does it get better?”  Then she focuses on her intention. Read the rest of this entry »

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What Would You Like to See Here?

Hi!  It’s me, Diana Page Jordan, checking in with you.

Is reading your life, the way it is mine?

I want to know what you want to read here.  I review books and interview authors, but more than that – I want to make the experience tangible for you.  A flash of insight.  New meaning. Maybe as simple as finding a good book for you out of the hundreds of new that pub every month.

Reading has saved my life.  Maybe it has yours, also.  I write from a place of healing, inspiration, making sense out of senseless actions in our lives, daring to dream what seems to lie beyond possibility.

Tell me what you want.

This is not intended to be a real survey, but play it that way, if you’d like.  I would love to know your ideas and your preferences, whether you answer the questions below, or create your own answers:

  • when do you visit – what time of day?
  • what reasons do you have for coming back – what resonates with you?
  • what books would you like to see here?
  • do you like when I talk about my writing friends and authors – famous or not?
  • do you want straight book reviews -more from the head?  Hmm, not sure that’s my style, keeping my heart out of it, but tell me anyway.
  • do you prefer bestsellers or esoteric?
  • what subjects and feelings and events would you like me to explore in terms of reading?
  • what preferences do you have visually for my blog and website?
  • will you tell your friends about my daily BookBlog – and about my exciting talk show, which you can find on iTunes, pdx.am, and right here! It’s called Open Book with Diana Page Jordan, because I am an Open Book!

Thanks for being here!

Love,

Diana

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The Soloist – And Living Between Genius and Insanity

Hollywood Video’s enormous yellow and black banner drew me in.  DVD’s for five and six bucks – yeah, I’ll take a look.  I came home with nine – including the first Rocky and Mystic Pizza and What Dreams May Come.  Films that resonate with key times in my life.  I fanned out the movie boxes for my older son, and asked if he wanted to watch a film with me.

He selected without hesitation The Soloist with Jamie Fox and Robert Downey Jr.  A true story about an LA Times reporter who accidentally discovers that one of the 90,000 homeless people on the streets of LA went to Julliard and was now playing the violin on the street.  As I watched the movie, my worlds crashed. Read the rest of this entry »

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Open Book with Diana Page Jordan at 1pm PST

Today, Jennie Shortridge is on my show, which, as you know, is called Open Book with Diana Page Jordan.  Here’s the link if you tune in live at 1pm Pacific: http://pdx.fm/radio/pdxfm/live2.html

Jennie is a former Portlander who now lives and writes in Seattle.  Her book is called When She Flew, and it’s a novel based on the provocative Portland news story — about a former Vietnam War veteran who was found living in the woods with his pre-teen daughter.  She’ll discuss the fascinating research into this Portland-based story, as well as writing and the writing community.

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What Would You Like to Read Here?

True! I’m wondering what you would like to read here.

These blogs have been my personal meanderings from the point of inception July 28th, 2008.  There’s been a departure of late from my earlier blogs.  They highlighted the anguish I felt when I grew up, how the trauma impacted me as an adult, and how I’ve been healing from all that.  Lately, I feel peaceful, happy and healthy.

And,  I wonder if there’s another way you would like to be served. For example, I have learned a lot from the hundreds of people I’ve interviewed, and they have made a remarkable difference in my life.  The wisdom they’ve passed on to me has been transmuted as I processed it with my own experiences.  And in my transformation, I can hold up a mirror for you.

Tell me!  This is your BookBlog!  Since I love reading and writing, just about anything you suggest works for me!  I will issue this little caveat — I’ve never been an intensely  literary type.  More someone who will pick up wildly different books, to experience how they will impact me.

Happy reading!  And, please answer this question:  What would you like to read here?

Thanks!

Diana

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